Alternate Universe

 In an alternate universe;

He would walk to her campus with a chocolate in the pocket.

She would smile at him like an idiot on the sidewalk.

And they would sit on the park bench under the rustling trees.

In an alternate universe;

She would rant about her essays.

He would tell her hundreds of different things she had never heard.

And when the sun went down, they would have her favorite Chinese food in town.

In an alternate universe;

She would read for hours in their university library.

He would keep her company by dozing off across the table.

But the rest of the afternoon she would walk with him by the lake.

With their hands intertwined, never letting go.

In an alternate universe;

She would put her head on his chest when everything went rough.

He would pull her closer to his heart, whispering, “It’s okay. It’ll be okay.”

She would be relieved for him.

And he would be grateful for her.

In an alternate universe;

She wasn’t broken.

He wasn’t messed up.

Neither were damaged, and the world was a whole bright color.

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Reunited

 I could recognise him anywhere. Even in the sea of people bustling all directions. His wavy raven-black hair looked bluish under the streetlights, a significant contrast to his pale face. But his smile was like a blazing fire in the cold, radiating its warmth right into my heart, my pounding heart.

“Look at you,” he said without losing his gaze to me. “You’ve always told me about England or Australia. But look where you are! United States?”

I smiled. “Weird, isn’t it?”

“You escaped too far. It’s across the planet, and it’s freezing,” he shuddered. There was a faint blue shadow under his eyes. 

“I know,” I said still in disbelief.

The reality hit me again. He’s here. Solid and real, so close. I could even touch him, talk to him. There were tons of questions I had in mind and things I wanted to show him. But I just stared at him instead, afraid that he could probably disappear into the thin air. Or worse, waking up in my own bedroom only to have another breakdown.

He stared at me back, his smile vanished and for a second his eyes looked sad. He stepped forward closing our distance and hugged me. His chin rested on my shoulder. 

“I find you,” he whispered. His voice was barely audible in the middle of traffic noise. 

I took a deep breath as the memories of home burst around me. He was still smelled like the black tea, only without sunlight but freezing air and musky dust from the long flight. He was cold and warm at the same time.

When he pulled me tighter with both arms, I mumbled, “You have no idea how much I missed you.”

He was quiet for a few seconds, before murmuring, “I miss you too. I didn’t know I would fly half of the planet to be with you. But even if you returned to Mars, I would still find my way to you.”

I smiled, my throat tightened as tears streaming down in silence. “I know,” I managed to respond but my voice cracked from crying. “But you don’t have to be overdramatic like that.”

He laughed and stroked my head gently. “Are you crying? Oh, my sensitive little Martian, don’t cry. I’m here.”

I laughed too between my tears and buried my face on his damp jacket. Now everything was right. Again. Even all the dull colours of winter turned bright.

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Happy New Year!

 Happy new year!!!

Wow I can’t believe it’s 2021 already. 2020 had been a confusing roller coaster ride. Nothing significant happened to me since I had to stay at home for nine months.

I’ve wanted to write something here to welcome the new year since this morning, but my head was a mess and fortunately SMTown gave us a free live concert. So yeah.

As we all know 2020 had been difficult and full of unexpected turning events. Who would’ve thought such a pandemic would hit the world? An invisible virus that turned everything upside down...

And as a commoner in a developing country, the effects were inevitable. Some days it felt surreal other days it hit me like a wrecking ball.

But let’s avoid talking about the government of this country and the majority of people in dealing with this once in a lifetime pandemic. Because I want my mind to stay in peace.

Albeit feeling tremendously useless in 2020, I learned a  lot. I found new perspectives in understanding life and people, and myself. I even found some new hobbies I had never imagined before; watching or listening to true crimes stories and reading trivial histories. Now I sound like a smart aleck when the truth is I’m still a thick hopeless romantic.

But I had a hunch that probably God sent us a virus to remind us that “it’s okay to slow down and stop trying to control something you can’t even control.” Or maybe that’s just an excuse made by my own head because I’m just a lazy penniless introvert.

Also.. basically life sucks, crust dwellers! But we’re alive so just keep on living~

And stop telling people to do something they can’t even control. Living itself is already hard enough. There are too many variables and complexities happen to an individual that make them what they are. Much less in the 2020.

What I’m trying to say is (especially to myself), it’s okay to not accomplish anything last year. Life goes on. And people might still ask you a bunch of questions that the answers should be answered by God himself in whatever you do. But remember we are enough. We matter. Even when I think I’m a big walking disappointment, I’m still thinking I’m important. Because we’re alive, folks! We’re not ghouls haunting the abandoned places.

Now I’m going to talk about myself again.

So, what have I done in 2020 besides breathing? Dozing off whilst watching dramas or youtube... But I don’t think it’s counted. So the answer is nothing.

I also became a slow sensitive reader. With my fluctuating moods and messed up mind, I had a difficult time to finish a book. I still read fictions by the way, I had tried to read non fictions but my brain wasn’t made for intelligence reads. I could only read a few pages a day before thinking “Oh, this is too much” or “Give me a good love story!” or “These dumbass characters...” and just stopped reading for weeks. But heil children books I still managed to complete my annual book challenge. Because they were only a few pages and didn’t require your brain capability, only your wild childish imagination.

2020 also made me better at doing house chores. I used to love doing house chores only in The Sims now I began to love it in real life thanks to this quarantine. My cookings also got better, which in my case they were no longer bland. But it’s still limited in cooking veggies and various types of noodle, or grilling fish. Because I can’t handle popping hot oil and complicated south-eastern spices.

Wow it gets even more unimportant and garbage-like here. I should’ve written something inspiring and motivating for public. But I don’t believe in motivations because like I said before, too many variables and complexities happen to an individual, easy motivating words cannot relate. And my life isn’t inspiring at all.. So just bear with it.

But my cats’ life is more inspiring maybe they should write in my blog instead of me.

Once again, happy new year! I wish our days ahead are still full of loves and positive attitudes. And I wish this civilisation we have now stay and get better because I don’t want to witness a falling civilisation... Make it happen when I no longer exist.

xxL

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Reason

"Which one would you prefer? To love or be loved?" one asked.

"To love," the other answered quietly.

"Why?" It wasn't an answer one had expected.

"Does someone need a reason to love someone else?" the other asked in return with unreadable expression.

"I don't think so," one whispered, smiling.

The other smiled back.

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My Own Star

The sky was clear. I could see the stars twinkling like a thousand lights above our head. The December air was icy-cold on my face, but somehow I felt warm, as we were walking side by side for the first time.

"I'd never seen so many stars like this before," he said in admiration. The wind played with his tousled raven hair, a striking contrast to his blushing face.

We stopped walking to sit on the damp soil of the hill, gazing up to the constellations, shoulders touching each other's. I turned my head, finding his obsidian eyes widened. Two black mirrors reflecting the lights.

"They're from the past," I murmured. "You're looking at the past."

"Hem?" he blinked and stared at me, bewildered.

"The stars, they're from the past," I explained again softly. "And they are dying now."

"What?" he looked completely taken aback. I had thought everyone knew it.

I held my gaze to the sky once again, trying to hide my smile. "Some will explode or fade once you turn your gaze away."

"Wow, that sounds terrible," he breathed.

"I know. Life sometimes is just a blink of an eye," I shrugged.

"But there is still one star that stays. Until the end. No matter how many times you blink or turn your eyes away," he smiled now. "The sun."

I returned his smile. "You're right. The sun is also a star."

"Even when you turn your gaze away, or when you can't see it in the darkness of night, the sun will always be there. So bright and so alive, lighting up the galaxy."

"That's so beautiful, you know," I told him and moved closer, put my head gently on his shoulder.

He moved slightly and put his arms around my shoulders, his cheek on my head. "And I will be the sun for you. Lighting up your days until the end. Your galaxy," he murmured.

"You don't have to. My galaxy is already lit up even without you being the sun," I replied quietly. "Your mere existence is already radiant. Resplendent. You just have to be yourself, and that's enough."

He chuckled. "You always describe something beautifully. I can't help but being weak on my knees listening to your words. It's impossible not to give all of me for you, you little witch."

I smiled again and closed my eyes, relishing our moment. His scent, his warm embrace, the pine-flavoured breeze, the rustling leaves...

"I must be a lucky witch."

"Hem. And I am even luckier," he almost whispered and pulled me closer tightly.

Everything had been a mess once. The shattered pieces of a fragile world. Until he came so suddenly like a shining celestial object falling to the atmosphere, and took my hand. The person I could lean my head on. The person I could love freely without hesitation. The person made everything right. Easy. Enough. And I didn't want to let go.



xxLAC

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Major Literary Figures of Old English (In A Brief)

1. (The Venerable) Bede
- Ca. 637-735
- He was also known as Saint Bede, Venerable Bede, and Bede the Venerable
- An English priest and historian; he was a priest at the monastery of St. Peter and its companion monastery of St. Paul in the Kingdom of Northumbria of the Angles
- Considered as the "Father of English History" after his famous work "Ecclesiastical History of the English People"
- The main reason why dating approach using AD (Anno Domini) invented by Dionysius Exiguus is now widely used
- Bede's life and work have been celebrated with the annual Jarrow Lecture held at St. Paul's curch in Jarrow since 1958

2. Alfred the Great
- Ca. 849-899
- The King of Wessex (from 871-866)
- Made an agreement with Vikings known as Danelaw after winning a victory in the Battle of Edington
- He died on 26 October 899 and had buried temporarily in the Old Minster in Winchester for four years before his body was moved to New Minster. Then the New Minster moved to Hyde and the monks were transferred to Hyde Abbey along with Alfred's body, his wife's and his children's as well. Unfortunately the abbey had dissolved and the church had been demolished.

3. Caedmon
- Ca. middle to late 7 AD
- a major poet mentioned in Bede's Historia
- Pioneer of the creation of verses with subjects based on the biblical stories and gospels, despite being (initially) illiterate
-His only known surviving work is 'Caedmon's Hymn'

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About this notes: the main source of the notes is my English Literature History Lecturer. I wrote it down on my notebook during my class a few years ago, but decided to write it also in my blog to save it and as a trivial information for whoever read my page. Thank you.

xxxLAC

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The Right Destination

I can smell the sea and the faint prickling of the spruces.
They are the reminiscent of the holiday, far-off of home.
The sands glisten from the sunbeam.
The dark blue ocean is the unfathomable vastness.

You and I stand under the waving spruces, wind in our face, your hands wrapping mine.
I catch a glimpse of the serene ocean before staring at you.
Your eyes, a pair of mystifyingly sheening onyx, squint to the remote horizon.
When they find mine, everything around me fades.

Yet you smile, that crooked smile like a grin.
I know.
My long journey has come to an end.
The vessel has anchored.

Then you release your hands to pull me closer.
You crouch, chin on my shoulder, hands embracing me.
You whisper,
"Thank you for always coming back."

My home.
My shelter.
It's you.
It's always been you.

I can feel your warmth.
Your steady heartbeat.
My world stops spinning.
The gravity is no longer put me in place but you.

Everything seems right.
All the yearnings turn into void.
The pains are gone as if they had never been there.
As if I had never been hurt.

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