The tea cup had been sitting there for hours now, making the liquid inside had completely gone cold. But Estrella remained on her seat, on a mustard couch in a grand sitting room. From where she sat she could see the muddy pathway to her house even under the eclipse through the window.
She glanced to a grandfather clock in the corner of the living room, waiting patiently for the hands to strike 10 pm. It’s less than ten minutes now.
So she smiled, took the porcelain away from the coffee table and stood by the window now. Her heart began to thump wildly in anticipation but she forced herself to remain calm. Anything could still happen, she couldn’t be too excited in the mean time.
Sebastian had never been late. Not a single time. He was the most punctual person she’d ever met. Right at 10 pm, he emerged from the darkness of night. He was bundling up in a thick brown coat and a hat covering half of his face. She couldn’t see his usual smile right away, but as he walked closer, taking wide turn to her back door, she knew he was smiling.
Estrella almost ran to open the back door, but she held herself and walked gracefully. She had let the door unlocked so he could open it himself. As the door swung open, neither of them moved an inch. She took her time to savor the moment, to stare into the two dark eyes in front of her. To carve every singe details of Sebastian’s face into her memory. He did the same.
“Hello again, my beautiful star,” he finally spoke after a full minute and opened both his long arms.
Without hesitation, she threw herself into his embrace. His coat was cold against her cheek, but she buried her face into his chest. He tightened his arms around her, taking both of them swaying in the middle of the dim room.
She began to laugh. The sound somehow still surprised her every time it happened. The sound she could only make whenever he’s near.
When they stopped moving, she tilted her head to look into his face again. “I missed you,” she whispered.
“I missed you too,” he replied with a gentle kiss on her lips.
She closed her eyes, letting herself lost in their kiss. Her feet began to give away, but he held her tight he was practically lifting her with both hands.
But at some point, Estrella opened her eyes only to find out herself staring at them from a picture on the wall. She was wearing a white long dress, her gloved hand linked to a man wearing a black tuxedo. He was smiling proudly. Or was he grinning at them?
Her heart dropped to her stomach. The warmth she felt seconds ago was evaporating without a trace, she was shivering now. The smile from a man in the picture frightened her.
“Are you okay?” Aware of the change Sebastian pulled away but not letting her out of his arms. His eyes were searching her face. He looked concerned but still strikingly beautiful after their kiss.
She tried to ignore the picture behind him and focused only into Sebastian’s eyes. But she was shivering again and there was a huge lump in her throat.
“Let’s runaway,” she said without answering his concern. There was a crack in her voice. She knew it was such an impossible request.
He winced in pain, took a shaky breath and stroked her hair gently. The mood around them had completely changed.
“Are you sure?” He asked quietly. His fingertips now were wandering on her face. They were rough against her skin, but she still found a faint smell of dough from his work in the bakery.
“I can’t do another bet. I don’t know when I’ll be running out of lucks. I can’t…” she chocked out.
“What about your family? Your mother?” He sounded mournful.
“She’ll be fine. She’ll forgive me,” she said right away. But there was no confidence in her voice.
He kissed her head long, very softly. “Then let’s go. Runaway with me,” he told her.
She nodded but her tears started streaming down. “I’m sorry,” she rumbled.
“It’s not your fault,” he pulled her again into him. “I should’ve met you sooner. One year and thirty four days sooner.”
She closed her eyes, crying in silence. Even if they had met sooner, she doubt they would’ve been together. Her mother wouldn’t have let her marry a man kneading bread in the market.
Her mother would’ve still done everything in her power to marry her off to her current husband, Matias. An only heir of a rich family in their town. A man who could guarantee Estrella and her mother a secured comfortable life until the next generations.
Estrella’s mother needed money to remain as a part of an upper class society after her father’s death. Meanwhile a workaholic Matias needed a trophy wife to give him kids. They both needed Estrella.
But she never loved Matias. Not even once. Their marriage had been a golden prison for her. It looked perfect from the outside. But it was cold and dark. Trapping her inside, taking away her freedom. No amount of jewels or expensive garments from Matias could win her heart from the beginning.
She was the luckiest girl alive, they had said. They didn’t know, that lucky girl had sold her soul to be the owner of a huge house. Or from her perspective, to be the prettiest decoration of Matias’ house, to be a perfect company for Matias' parties.
Until Sebastian came. A comet to her dying dark planet. He lightened up everything. She found hopes once again in him. In his strong hands, in his genuine eyes, in his warm hugs, in his quiet love.
She started to feel again. Her life seemed to be moving again. She started to wait for some mornings to break or for some nights to never end. She began to count the days, to stand by the window staring into the darkness. Or to feel elated choosing her wardrobe before going to the market with her maid. Just to have a brief eye contact with Sebastian in the crowd.
Until she realized, a massive comet could be another form of catastrophe.
As her love and need grew bigger, her real life devastated her. She could no longer put a fake smile while sitting on a dining table with Matias. She could no longer tolerate his touch whenever he’s near. Apparently she had lost the strength to play a devoted housewife. She’s screaming inside, wanted to break free, hiding her claws so hard she was hurting herself.
Matias had started to notice her change. She had told him it's because of the winter. The cold air made her feeling unwell. But she knew the card she played had a limit.
Their illicit affair couldn’t be revealed in front of her husband’s face, or anyone’s. God only knew what he would do to her lover. She wouldn’t risk it any further. They had to runaway.
“Wait until it gets a bit warmer,” he said.
She wanted to refuse, but there was something in his expression that held her tongue. They could just leave right away, that night even. Spring was still weeks away she probably wouldn’t survive that long without doing anything. But…
After not hearing her answer he added, “please?”
She nodded halfheartedly. Matias would be home tomorrow afternoon. But he hadn’t told her when his next work trip would be moreover with her fake illness on the plate. This reality made her restless.
But she needed to remain calm. She had to trust him. It wouldn’t be an easy decision for either of them.
“Let’s enjoy this night. When the weather is fine, I’ll let you know when to come to the creek,” he took her hands to his heart. “Just be ready!”
There was a creek he had always told her about. Where he had spent many of his time sitting there thinking of her when they couldn’t meet. She knew this place but she’d never come to the creek anymore for years. It had been part of her childhood memory with her friends.
Sometimes when their night had come to an end, Sebastian had suggested her to meet him there in the afternoon. He’d wanted to meet her under the sun, with the soft breeze around them. It probably would’ve been safe for them as it was hidden in the woods.
Estrella had chuckled by his request, she had seen the seriousness in his eyes. The longing that had made her heart ache. But she’d never said yes. And as the time passed by, the creek would become the designated meeting place for them if they agreed to runaway.
“I will,” she told him, pulling away another trigger of her own Russian roulette.
He smiled, but this time it didn’t reach his eyes.
***
LAC
