He stared

There were some pieces of story about this life that unexpectedly appeared on the surface. The pieces that considered have been kept inside a special folder in the memory.

She remembered one of them. When the sun was shining behind the moving clouds, its dazzling light was faded. When the leaves were falling and flying to all directions, dirtied a small parking lot in a high school.

That day, she didn't recognise exactly the feeling of having a crush on someone. She only knew that some kind of crush wouldn't probably give particular benefit for her snug life. But in the end, after some years have passed, she realised that her strange feeling had been there longer before she could expected. The feeling that should have not been being let to grow at all.

But she remembered that she was standing there, with her white-grey uniform and black-tied shoes. She was standing under the roof of her high school building and holding her black mobile phone very tightly. When the short message popped up, she immediately made some steps that unwittingly were too agog. She stepped towards the parking lot, let herself absorbing the wind-blows and the dim sunlight to be kept as a remembrance.

That person had stood there when she reached the parking lot. He was standing tall near his motorcycle with white-grey uniform and an expression that couldn't be guessed. His eyes were locked to the girl's face who was walking to him. Within seconds he moved his body to straiten their distance which felt too far. He strode and made her heart thumped until her chest felt hurts.

"He's coming!" she thought. Maybe he couldn't wait for that girl's slow moving.

When they both stopped in the middle of the parking lot, he commented, "Why were you taking so long?" He was taller that she could remember, and her brown eyes looked shimmering. 

"I was in the class," she answered, tried to keep her voice in calm. But she didn't have any braveness to see his face any longer that she just opened her backpack to pull out something. It was a small bag full of souvenirs that her father bought in Saudi Arabia.

"For you," she said by pushing that bag to his hands.

That person also opened his backpack to pull out a white T-Shirt wrapped in a clear plastic. He extended his hands to pull her backpack closer and carelessly put his gift inside. "This is for you too. I'm too kind, aren't I?" he made a pride face.

She pouted but thanked him sincerely. "Thank you so much."

"I'm leaving, okay?" that person said and carried his backpack on the shoulder. "And thank you for these, too."

She just nodded, still too afraid to look into his face directly. Then she just turned around too fast and in a hurry. Her face suddenly felt so warm and her feet felt so stiff. She couldn't explain why her heart was higgledy-piggledy inside. That day, she was still too young to know what she had known now.

When she had walked quite far, she finally let herself to do her screaming willingness inside her desolate heart. She turned around just to see that person again. And she found the truth that later became the reason why that day didn't vanish at all from her memory.

That person was still standing on his place without moving and he stared at her. He wasn't even distracted when she found his gaze was still on her. He just stared with expression that seems to be wondering or even thinking. She thought he'd left or turned around. But he was still there.

"He stares at me." she thought. "He's still there." she thought again.

But her fear was bigger than her intention to feel a little happiness. She immediately turned her face and took a step away. She was too afraid to give him her smile or give him a wave as she craved to. That girl only could walk away without turning around again.

She walked with the memory following her steps. The memory that didn't even leave when everything left her alone.

She kept walking, until she realised that she just walked in circle. Around and around...

~~~

LACxxx

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Chocolate Milk Eyes

The girl was sitting under the tent at her school carnival. She was wearing a long cream blouse with black flowers all over it. It was so hot with the sun blazing too bright. She put her camera on the table and sat with her class-mates. She was talking with them about some girls stuffs when he came.

His head was full of sweat. He was taller and thinner then the girl could remember, and he was wearing the maroon shirt. Without courtesy he sat in front of that girl and started to grumble.

"It's bloody hot. And I'm totally starving," he said.

That girl blinked her eyes a few times, "Yes it is."

She watched him wiping his heads and suddenly said, "You can eat them."

That boy moved her eyes and saw a box of lunch near her camera. "Really?"

"Yes. Just eat."

Then he grabbed that box and opened it quickly. "Have you had yours?" he asked to the girl.

"No. Yes, it's fine. I'm not really hungry."

"Okay then."

For a few moments, the girl spent her time watching him eating his lunch. He was eating as if he had never eaten for a week. He also talked to her some weird stuffs, sometimes asked her about her camera.

He was so close, right in front of her. He looked exhausting and starving. But it was also the first time when she realised how beautiful his eyes were. They were big and bright with the too thick eyelashes bounded them. And they were brown, like the chocolate milk.

She kept staring into those eyes until he couldn't focus on the boy's words. She told herself, "How can a boy's eyes could be so beautiful?"

And a strange feeling came. She wanted to have those eyes only staring at her. She wanted him. She wanted to see those eyes everyday. She wanted to touch those eyelids with her soft fingers.

She had never felt that way before. Maybe she had drowned into those chocolate milk eyes once she tried to dive.

xxxLAC

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Old English (Brief History Points)

Here is the points list about the Short History of Old English. 

• Old English refers to language spoken by Anglo-Saxon (AS). It was used from around 5 AD up to the year 1066.
• AS entered England in 5 AD, conquering -it which was then under the government of Roman Empire.
• Anglo Saxon (Jutes, Angles, Saxon) 
• AS belief system involved paganism, faith in God/Goddesses and wyrd (fate).
• AS allowed Christianity which had been adopted by English people from Roman to continue.
• AS preferred to live in their self-built houses rather than Romans.
• AS lived in closed-knit tribal communities.
• Led by a chieftain/lord
• Strong kinship bonds --- death vs exile
• Sense of loyalty to one's lord and kin
• heroism
• allegiance
• gift-giving
• Re-christianization process began once more in the late 6th century.
• By the end of 7 AD, all AS kingdoms in England had fully adopted christian.
• Christianity also brought limited literacy and writing system to England.
• Christian monks and scribes transcribed and compiled England traditions into codices and manuscript.
• Many of these manuscripts were destroyed during the Viking invasion in late 8 AD.
• After Alfred the Great defeated the Vikings in 9 AD, English learning was restored (878)
• Four major manuscripts of Old English verses survived:
• Nowell Codex (Beowulf manuscript)
• Junius Manuscript (contained illustrations not found in other codices)
• Exeter book (largest collection of Old English Literature in existence)
• Vercelli book

p.s. AD = anno Domini (find out more here if you want complete descriptions)

       More about Alfred the Great click here

xxx

LAC

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I think She's Gone

It was so gloomy. The clouds were slowly moving to cover the sun. But that girl was standing still on her planet, thinking about too much things, and hoping for something which was completely simple. She hoped that the person whom she wanted to meet had a good acceptable reason for being disappeared. Truly busy is the only words that she wanted to hear. Or at least he would apologise for that.

With a bright pink jacket, black skirt, and a pair of blue-tied shoes, she took a step into a building. She had her friend by her side that day. A friend who always stayed by her side for any condition. It was her first moment experiencing that kind of love situation. So she thought that she needed at least one friend to accompany her taking a step forward.

Then, they started searching a familiar black car in a small parking lot. But they didn't find it and decided to just directly find the person inside the campus area. That girl was walking hopelessly when her friend asked her to stop.

"That's him! Come here!" that girl's friend whispered.

That girl walked to where her friend was standing. She saw a few people including a person she wanted to meet sitting in a circle, writing something on a big table. That person was too busy talking and writing, wrapped in a white laboratory coat. He's busy.

The eerily cold feeling started covering her body again. It was too cold that she thought that she could probably turned into a standing-ice statue. Her fingers were intertwined. She also could hear her own heart beating in the middle of the crowded sounds. She's definitely frozen.

"I don't know how to call him. I think he's busy. Should we wait?" that girl asked her friend. Her voice sounded weird. She was attacked by the guilty feeling. She was afraid that person would be disturbed by her sudden coming.

They waited for a few moments. But her friend did something and caused that person coming towards them. That girl felt so afraid that she couldn't even say anything. But she followed that person who asked her to talk in the car.

It was indeed a nightmare.

The rains started falling on the ground. The air inside the car was so cold. The person who she wanted to meet was even colder. For a few moments that girl had thought that she had been strong enough to face anything that would happen. She had believed that every beginning had an end. But the truth, she wasn't even ready at all.

That person ended everything only with a few brief words. He told her that his love had completely gone. He was too busy to have a relationship with that girl again. He pushed her away from his life only with a few words. That girl couldn't say anything, she just cried. Too much tears blurring her eyes. 

"Should I wait? I can wait for you to come again," that girl said. Her voice was so hollow. 

"It's all up to you. But I can't promise you that I will come again for you," that person answered easily. That girl doubted the truth that the person was actually that person.

"Okay, I won't wait." she said flatly.

Then she could only hear the sound of a crying girl and the rain. She felt that her heart had been shattered on the ground, and that person was walking on those pieces. She never knew that it would be that painful. Only tears that could slowly help her to breathe. So she kept crying, covered her face by her cold palms. 

That person was only staring outside the window, sometimes turned his face to see that girl cried in front of him. Maybe he was completely controlled by the devils.

"Can't we fix it?" asked the girl again. She was thinking about jumping outside the car into the rain.

"No. It's over. I don't love you anymore. It's over," he answered again easily.

That girl stopped crying. Her heart already had exploded into pieces and covered by blood, throbbing in an infinity pain. She smiled. She looked outside the window, to the rain and the wet road. She smiled again. Maybe she had turned crazy. 

She smiled but her tears keep streaming on her cold cheeks. 

"Can you go home? I have to go to my class now," that person told her.

"Are you trying to get rid me off? It's still raining," she said with a hoarse sounds. Her tears started streaming again. She cried too much that day.

"I know, but..."

"Okay, I'm leaving," the girl interrupted and tried to open the door.

"No, wait! Don't go while crying," that person hold that girl's arm to ask her to stay.

"You asked me to leave!" she said in the middle of her tears.

"Not like that," that person answered.

That girl then took some tissues to wipe her tears. She took some deep breaths and opened the door. That person didn't say anything anymore or hold her arm. So, she walked under the rain slowly, eyes on her feet, and waited for the scene of the drama would probably happen. She waited for that person to run after her, regretted his own word, and apologised. She would have apologised him. Completely apologised him.

But that never happened.

That person left her with his black car. He left before that girl even reached a place with a pavement. She cried again when she could finally reached her friend. 

"He did that! He gets rid me off! He did that before I did!" that girl said in horror. Then she felt that her feet had no power to stand again. 

She huddled up his feet and hid her face to cry. She cried. She called for her father. She cried. She asked herself what kind of faults that she had done. She cried. She couldn't stand for the pain. She cried.

She decided to go...

I think she's gone

xxx

LAC

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Princess Pink and Afternoon Sky

I made this fairy-tale when I was in 11th grade in Indonesian language. Since I've been studying English lit in a university, I decided to make an English version with some changes. But you still can find the Indonesian version in my Tumblr account... click here

xxx

Her name was Princess Pink. She's called that way because she wore everything in pink colors. Her shoes, her beautiful gown, and her ribbon on her golden hair. She lived in the mountain that was covered by snow almost all the years.

One day, there was a prince who came from the middle of nowhere to the mountain where Princess Pink lived. That prince was interested once he saw her crossing on the road. With her deep blue pair of eyes, she stopped to look at the prince who was staring at her, smiling, crooked and mysterious at the same time. Slowly, the prince walked towards Princess Pink.

"Who are you dear beautiful girl? May I know you?" he asked. His voice was hoarse, but enigmatically as soft as the snow.

Princess Pink took her deep breath and moved her pink neckerchief. "Who are you? Why do you want to know me?" she asked.

That prince smiled again at her. It's the bigger smile than his first smile. She looked into his eyes which were deep and black like the coals, the same colors with his wavy hair. But she saw a friendly sense from those dark eyes.

"My name is Prince Crystal. I come from the Middle of Nowhere," he answered, moved his arms pointing to the south-east.

Princess Pink smiled. "My name is Princess Pink. And I live here."

Since that day, they always met each other to spend their time together. Soon, they put themselves into a special relationship that was difficult to be explained.

Prince Crystal made a promise to Princess Pink that he would never leave her, come hell or high water. And Princess Pink trusted his promise with her whole heart, also promised that she would never let go of Prince Crystal.

Unfortunately, there was Middle Wind that came to meet Prince Crystal. He provoked Prince Crystal to leave the cold mountain where he lived with Princess Pink. Middle Wind offered him the snug place, more colorful and beautiful princesses, and also the greatly overflow food in his place.

Prince Crystal was covered by doubts whether he should stay or leave Pink Princess. But, after taking a long time, he agreed with the Middle Wind. Thus, Prince Crystal left Princess Pink without saying any words.

Princess Pink was desperately desperate because of Prince Crystal's decision. She felt like she had lost a half of her soul, while the other half of her soul was scattered on the ground.  Everyday, she sat alone weeping, lamenting her fate, and shedding her sadness to the Afternoon Sky. For years, Princess Pink kept alone hoping that Prince Crystal would return to her. But the destiny was never been on her side. She remained alone and Prince Crystal never returned.

Until came a day when a prince met Princess Pink sitting alone under the snow falls. He got off his brown horse and walked towards Princess Pink. His name was Prince Once.

"Is it possible that a magnificent Princess with her unfortunately stupidity hurting herself under the freezing snow?" he teased with his surprisingly high voice.

Princess Pink lift her cold face to see him but said no words, her expression was empty, and her pair blue eyes were definitely lusterless. She looked into Prince One's eyes that were completely different with Prince Crystal's. They were brown, like the colors of milk coffee. Warm. Unpredictable.

Prince One started to jump in front of Princess Pink, he said about weird stuffs happily. Princess Pink who was still afflicted by her fate only kept quiet in a hollow. She didn't intend at all.

But Prince One kindly put out all the stops. For months, he stayed near her side, tried so hard to entertain her. His efforts were finally showed some hopes, and Princess Pink started to accept him.

Princess One could always make Princess Pink laugh. He loved to see the red tinge on her pale white cheeks, and the lights from her blue eyes. And he promised Princess Pink the same thing with Prince Crystal, but only in different way.

Strangely, Princess Pink trusted his words. She believed that Prince One was someone who was sent to be with her forever instead of Prince Crystal. They lived lighthearted for years together.

But, again, the destiny betrayed Princess Pink. Prince One met Spread Smiles Princess and fell in love with her. He easily forgot Princess Pink and went off Spread Smiles Princess. Once again, Princess Pink was left alone.

Soon, a sense of hopelessness attacked Princess Pink. She found her heart pieces scattered again on the ground, not only a half, but the whole of them. Then she asked Afternoon Sky to lift her up with tears on her face. Afternoon Sky was touched by Princess Pink's fate. He agreed to grant her hopeless wish.

That day, when the snow falls were absent and the sun almost set in the west, Afternoon Sky lift Princess Pink up the sky, with him. Until now, Afternoon Sky will spread the tinge of pink colors in the sky as a sign that Princess Pink stays with him, because the destiny was never been with her on the earth...

LACx

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Me

I'm a twenty-year-old little girl. Currently studying literature which isn't my actual plan since a very younger age. Most says I'm too quiet, few says I'm quite noisy. All the psychological online test claimed that I'm an introvert person. I love cats. I'd rather be in my bedroom reading novels or watching dramas than going around somewhere.

If I were a sky, I think everything would be better.

I had a better life. Now, it's not that great anymore, maybe it's because I'm getting older and God starts taking what I borrowed. Or maybe it's because that I did something wrong. Who knows?

I rarely listen to the music and watch television. I sit and think most of the time. I wrote a lot a couple years ago, now I just think. And sleep.

I had two blog accounts before this one, but I lost the password in my own memory.

It's Lidya by the way.

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