It was 31st October, 2016.
The sun illuminated trough the thick clouds. It wasn't so gloomy or so sunny either. It was just the common humid weather for the tropical country in the end of a year.
I was very exhausted because of the tough few days in my college classes and was craving for the snug bed in my bedroom. With a backpack contained of three fabulously thick dictionaries, I wandered around with my two friends, planned to climb up the library in order to return some novels.
There were big trees when I looked up and thought about random stuffs. We were about walking on the footpath towards the library when I saw a figure of a young man on my age walked in front of me. For the brief flash of my nearsighted, I thought it was someone I really wanted to meet. That young man was very similar with him and my heart nearly jumped out my chest.
My mind immediately moved to the thoughts of seeing him again. The last time I saw him was about two years ago. I still remember how I was frozen on my steps when he passed by very quickly across the road. He was still looked the same, only got older than I could remember...
So that 31st October, from the seconds I walked on the footpath and met that 'similar man' until I sat for some minutes in the library, I couldn't help myself to stop thinking about him. Him. The one I used to call 'The Ice Statue'.
I asked myself "How if I met him? What would I do?"
Since I remembered his words that he would pretend to not recognising me at all. So, that day, in the library, I decided to do the exactly the same thing if I met him somehow.
But it was a kind of magical strange day. When I walked out of the library towards my faculty, my eyes captured the thing that should never be captured at all.
He was tall, even taller than I thought. The contrast black curly hair for his too bright skin for a common man in my place. And thin.
He walked away with some of his friends, dark brown backpack on his back, white long sleeves shirt, and black long trousers. His hands holding some papers.
"That's him!" I told to myself once. It was only his back but I swore that I completely sure I wasn't mistaken.
"That's him!" I told myself again.
I felt my heart thumped and the blood lessen in my body. Reflexively, I walked faster to get him let him find me. My friends were curious about my sudden reaction that I told them about him.
But he walked too quickly and I was way too far behind. He never changed, his strides were still extremely quick. My mind was also changing every seconds whether I should scream his name. But even if I had screamed, he would have never heard me because I couldn't really make a loud voice.
So I finally slowed down my walking and decided to just let him go. Like I always did to everyone who decided to just walk away from me.
But my friends started to scream his name. Once... Twice...
I felt a relief and regret all at once. I just missed another chance.
"He looked back!" my friend told me.
My heart still tried to jump out and I couldn't really feel my feet. "Really?" I asked.
"He looked back again. He's looking for you!" my friend laughed in excitement.
I turned around, hoped he couldn't see me at all. "Did he see me?" I asked. I was really afraid that he had seen me. My heart thumped ever harder.
"I don't know." my friend answered.
From that day I realised a few things;
First, I was the one who wasn't ready to meet him. I thought I was ready.
Second, no one in this world has ever made me have some weird reactions only after seeing his back across the street.
Third, everything is still the same for me. It is as same as seven years ago. Frozen.
And fourth, my fear of losing is even bigger than my braveness to get him...
LACxxx
The sun illuminated trough the thick clouds. It wasn't so gloomy or so sunny either. It was just the common humid weather for the tropical country in the end of a year.
I was very exhausted because of the tough few days in my college classes and was craving for the snug bed in my bedroom. With a backpack contained of three fabulously thick dictionaries, I wandered around with my two friends, planned to climb up the library in order to return some novels.
There were big trees when I looked up and thought about random stuffs. We were about walking on the footpath towards the library when I saw a figure of a young man on my age walked in front of me. For the brief flash of my nearsighted, I thought it was someone I really wanted to meet. That young man was very similar with him and my heart nearly jumped out my chest.
My mind immediately moved to the thoughts of seeing him again. The last time I saw him was about two years ago. I still remember how I was frozen on my steps when he passed by very quickly across the road. He was still looked the same, only got older than I could remember...
So that 31st October, from the seconds I walked on the footpath and met that 'similar man' until I sat for some minutes in the library, I couldn't help myself to stop thinking about him. Him. The one I used to call 'The Ice Statue'.
I asked myself "How if I met him? What would I do?"
Since I remembered his words that he would pretend to not recognising me at all. So, that day, in the library, I decided to do the exactly the same thing if I met him somehow.
But it was a kind of magical strange day. When I walked out of the library towards my faculty, my eyes captured the thing that should never be captured at all.
He was tall, even taller than I thought. The contrast black curly hair for his too bright skin for a common man in my place. And thin.
He walked away with some of his friends, dark brown backpack on his back, white long sleeves shirt, and black long trousers. His hands holding some papers.
"That's him!" I told to myself once. It was only his back but I swore that I completely sure I wasn't mistaken.
"That's him!" I told myself again.
I felt my heart thumped and the blood lessen in my body. Reflexively, I walked faster to get him let him find me. My friends were curious about my sudden reaction that I told them about him.
But he walked too quickly and I was way too far behind. He never changed, his strides were still extremely quick. My mind was also changing every seconds whether I should scream his name. But even if I had screamed, he would have never heard me because I couldn't really make a loud voice.
So I finally slowed down my walking and decided to just let him go. Like I always did to everyone who decided to just walk away from me.
But my friends started to scream his name. Once... Twice...
I felt a relief and regret all at once. I just missed another chance.
"He looked back!" my friend told me.
My heart still tried to jump out and I couldn't really feel my feet. "Really?" I asked.
"He looked back again. He's looking for you!" my friend laughed in excitement.
I turned around, hoped he couldn't see me at all. "Did he see me?" I asked. I was really afraid that he had seen me. My heart thumped ever harder.
"I don't know." my friend answered.
From that day I realised a few things;
First, I was the one who wasn't ready to meet him. I thought I was ready.
Second, no one in this world has ever made me have some weird reactions only after seeing his back across the street.
Third, everything is still the same for me. It is as same as seven years ago. Frozen.
And fourth, my fear of losing is even bigger than my braveness to get him...
LACxxx