2023 had been, safe I say, strenuous. It was still tough but I got so many things I should be grateful for too. And it’s not the world of mine if it was too easy. So many things happened, lots of downs, lots of running in circle… Yet life keeps moving, right? That’s how you could learn or unlearn something, you could grow or widen the perspectives.
On the other hand, I’m not really excited for the new year, because there’s no such a ‘new year new me’ for me. And, I really hate getting older. It’s going to be my last year being 20s year old girl OMG WTF. Really now I understand why Bella Swan was so eager going through hell to be immortal. I guess I’m team Bella now, I’m sorry to be a disappointment.
So, just like any other years before, my hope remains the same. I hope I get to meet the love of my life this year. I’m serious right now it’s not a bluff. I want to be with a man who’s kind and understanding (it’s important because my world is just too mystifying most of the time) that I get to share everything with him. He can also share everything with me especially his earnings… Since the older I get, the more I realize how ugly this world is. And I kinda need a right person to partner up realizing peace inside us.
The last months of 2023 were the toughest. Unexpected twists happened that I realized (after a bag of tears) nothing was within my control. I thought I had been trained enough by the art of letting go, but guess what I still needed more lessons! It’s okay, tho. I still survived bitches!
I also had a fun trip at the end of December (despite many travels that I had this year it was the most fun). It wasn’t in my plan until my bestie invited me to join a trip with her colleagues. So without much of thinking I just took the chance and hit the road with her group. I think it was the first time after a very long time I finally let myself to be genuinely elated. I even let myself to savor the present moments and breathe easily. Thus I found a little contentment again for a short time.
Not gonna lie, I’ve always been hard on myself. Letting my heart to feel happy had been usually terrifying, since I thought happiness would come with a price. And that price usually a lot to handle by my fragile heart. Thing I should still be working on.
Wow it’s so easy to wear my heart on the sleeve by writing. But to anyone reading this, whatever happens in your life I hope you can always find a reason to keep going. That you will always allow yourself to find even a tiny spark of joy in this strange world. Because sometimes maybe the beauty of life has been always within our grasp, until it’s up to us to reach it or not.
Cheers for the growth, peace, and contentment of everyone’s heart!
xxLAC