Sunset

I sat there, on a pale blanket, where he lied with his back beneath the morning sun. I moved my finger along his spine, making invisible abstract patterns like a three-year-old. But my mind was all over the place.

To the twisted bedsheet in the bedroom. To his scattered clothes on the floor. To the empty boxes of Chinese takeaway on the coffee table. To his warm kisses pampering all over my body. To the ticking time...

I could almost hear the sound of it from my watch despite the noise. Tick tock. Tick Tock. Tick Tock.

I looked away and put my chin on knees, watching the emerald waves lashing the shoreline. The gentle sound of it mixed together with the high pitch giggles of children every time their feet touched the water.

He must have felt the change of my mood as he suddenly closed his book and sat up. I couldn't see his eyes behind the shades but his mouth twitched into a smile. A smile I would give everything to see every day of every seasons.

"What are you thinking?" he asked gently scrutinizing my expression.

"Nothing," I replied, returning his smile with a grin.

He shifted closer and wrapped his hand on my shoulder. Yet all I could feel was he moved further. Too far I could no longer reach.

“Do you want to leave now?” He asked again.

“Are you done?”

“Yes, let’s just go somewhere,” he grabbed his t-shirt and put it on before giving his hand to me. “It’s getting hotter. You don’t really like the heat anyways.”

We drove for quite some time around the familiar town before pulling into a small coffee shop with air conditioner. He ordered for us and we sat near the large window overlooking the wide field. He cupped my hand with both hands, caressing my wrist gently. I really needed this time to stop. 

“I wish I could stay longer,” he began quietly as if he could read my mind.

“But you can’t,” it barely was a whisper.

“You know I can’t.”

“I know.”

He touched my chin and looking at me. His amber eyes looked ablaze in the sunlit room. But there was a flicker of sadness in them.

“I’m coming back,” he said. 

I nodded. But I knew this time he wouldn’t. He would never come back. Because I wouldn’t stay. Not anymore. 

“Let’s watch the sunset again today!” I tried cheerfully, hiding my true emotion. Perhaps it would be the last time. And I wanted him as much as I could.

“Your wish my command!” He chuckled.

I reached out to touch his face. He took my hand and kissed it long. His lips were warm and I could feel my throat tightened. I blinked back my tears trying to store this moment into my head.

After this, maybe sometimes he would remember me. 

When he'd walk along the beach with the woman in a picture inside his wallet. When he'd watch the summer sunset somewhere on this earth with her in his arms. When he'd kiss her in a small Cafe. Or when he'd touch her in a dim room. Because I would too.

But time and memory were never allies to begin with. One day I would not remember the exact color of his eyes. Or the sound of my name coming out from his lips. One day it would be just a moment in time.

A moment we never shared to anyone but each other.